Crack-a-Jack

Dying Indian milkman

An Indian milkman who is dying in the hospital is surrounded by his two sons, daughter, his wife, and nurse.
 
- He says his eldest son, to you, Shankar, I leave the Beverly houses.

- To you, my dear daughter Pooja, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza.
   
- To you, Akash, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center offices.
 
- And you, my dear wife Punam, the three residential building towers in downtown.

The nurse, impressed, tells his wife: Madam, your husband is very rich. He is bequeathing many properties! You all are so lucky!!
 
And the wife retorts:

Rich??? Lucky??? Are you kidding me!!!?? Those are his routes where he delivers milk!!!

Officer, we just got off Route 142

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver obviously confused said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous". "Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK? These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time"

"Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142."

"Test my urine for sugar!"

Kanjibhai approached the pharmacist with a small bottle and a spoon.

He poured some liquid onto the spoon and offered it to the pharmacist. "Would you taste this for me, please?" said Kanjibhai.

The pharmacist put it in his mouth, swilled it around, and swallowed it.

"Does that taste sweet to you?" said Kanjibhai. "Not at all," said the pharmacist. 

"Oh, that's a relief. My doctor said you would test my urine for sugar!"